Your children don’t need you in the way that you THINK After that beginning of constant care, they want to keep exploring from the safety of you, Without your anxiety and worry. That pushes them to ease your nervous system at the price of their own authentic expression and FREEDOM.
Your children don’t need you in the ways that you WANT. They are sovereign beings and will have their hair their way, their opinions too. They will say “I’ve got it” as you are left with that item in your hands, the one you were trying to make them take as they walked out the door.
There is practicality, yes, and safety too but you might drop it a little sooner, and take care of your own anxiety, You already made your point many, many times.
You will offer TRADITIONS but they will choose what to keep and what to let go of. You will give GUIDANCE but they must mix in the elixir of their own truth into the formula. You have so much WISDOM, but they may not take it. They will make MISTAKES, And not do things your way Now that they are older.
Your children don’t need you to rescue them Nor to over-function It harms and gives them the message that they aren’t capable. And in so many ways, yes, of course you know better, But they will do it their unique way, And that’s what sometimes drives you crazy!
Your children don’t need you to abandon yourself, nor sacrifice your life.
They need you to be FREE, to be in your truth, to work on your shit, to give them love, Space and direction when they need it, These powerful BEINGS from the other side That aren’t yours, they just come through you, As beacons of REMEMBRANCE, To offer you the most vulnerable experience Of wearing your heart on your sleeve Of LOVING so hard and at the same time letting go year by year until they leave home. They have their own thoughts, their own desires, their purpose and it’s NOT YOURS. They need you so much and then only need you from afar.
And in that space of letting go of being needed, The GRIEF of letting go, They are here to show you again, To radically transform your heart and then point you back to the bare naked truth of who you really are.
(Inspired by Isaac)